The Beer Blogger’s Poem – The Sequel

Just when you thought that you’d had your fill

Of brewing’s William Topaz McGonagall

He comes right along to finish his telling

Of the bloggers poem (with some correct spelling).

Of those he has missed, of those he has kept

The ones that sat at home and wept

For not being waxed all lyrical

By a weird Kiwi brewer from up Thornbridge Hall.

We’ll start quite close, across the way

A Swift One’s blokes will save the day

If to Huddersfield by train you go

The place for a pint you’ll easily know.

There’s good old Phil, his palate keen,

A beer merchant who brews beers clean,

A Saint, a Sinner, new media junkie

And even a beer that’s serious funky!

Back up north, the stouter breeds,

The Good Stuff puts the Leigh in Leeds.

Cannot forget our ladies fair,

Melissa takes the beard from beer

Then there she is, beer writer in stow,

She’s patient, attentive, the Beer Widow.

And of her writing, I can’t be faulting,

The elegant prose of Impy Malting.

My gosh, my rhyming makes me spew,

Unlike the beers of Crown Brewer Stu!

He twitters like mad and brews like crazy,

One thing he’s not is tardy or lazy.

And who can forget he who puts on a show,

I watch them with interest, Zak’s YouTube video.

He teaches, he preaches, tells of flavours weird,

But I can’t help but ogle his fantastic beard!

If there’s one guy who’ll make an ale revelation,

A ninja at writing and beer observation.

It has to be one of those Welsh rugby clones.

ATJ, Adrian Ti-er-ney Jones.

If the North West is called out for having no flair,

Then no one has clicked on the link that is here.

Tandleman will push and others will pull,

I wonder if he’s a “My pint’s half full?”

These two will never go out for a coke,

They’re concise, they’re precise, they’re Bailey and Boak.

He counts and he drinks and directs CAMRA well

For London (the Greater), for some t’would be hell!

But passion is evident, without it we’d miss,

The fantastic writings of the Beer Justice.

And heading abroad, again we do go

But not o’er the ditch to County Carlow.

Instead it’s a Bullet that we can all Bite.

In German, Gute Nacht, but for us it’s Good Night!

You’re probably wishing the same of me.

Take something for sleeping, no maybe take three.

And stop with this dreadful and tedious poem.

And get on a boat and head south for home!

In Newcastle they talk about Walking the Dog

I’d rather read Beer Reviews by Andy Mogg.

Or something else interesting, something I’ve seen,

A mag on the interweb, they call it Hopzine.

For lots about brews, this guy shows a care

Jeff Evans, the author with his Inside Beer.

Another whose name is a challenge to match,

It’s meaning cantankerous, or even crosspatch.

The Pub Curmudgeon speaks of pubs, beer and smoking.

And forces debate on the smoke that we’re choking.

But last and not least is the head of the pack,

He blogged and brought controversy onto his back,

But we all forget all the headway he’s made

He’s helped push the beer to the sun from the shade.

And provoked responses, the good and the bad

Epitomal Protzy, the true real ale lad.

At last, as you know all good things must end,

Now head to the fridge and the bottles you tend.

Slump down in the sofa, slump down with relief.

And pray my next poem is absent or brief.



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8 thoughts on “The Beer Blogger’s Poem – The Sequel

  1. Kelly, great stuff, you know that the Guild already has one poet in its ranks, I reckon you’re earned the right to join him and maybe have a poetry standoff! Cheers and have a good Xmas.

    • Haha, I do recall reading the odd poem in a few newsletters now that you mention it!
      Am thinking a brewer Limerick competition might have to begin as well…

      There were a few brewers from Thornbridge,
      For breakfast there wasn’t some porridge
      So they found yeast and malt
      And a small pinch of salt
      But for hops they did go out and forage!

      Yeah, I won’t give up my day job…
      Have a great Xmas!

  2. Haha..fantastic! I think this needs to be Zak’s tag line: “He teaches, he preaches, tells of flavours weird, But you can’t help but ogle his fantastic beard!”

  3. very good – you guys been smoking those hops over xmas? a definate talent to be developed – the brewing poets. Kind of like Tom Cruise in Cocktail, but less naff!

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